Ive had pre-kundalini symptoms since age 17, but the symptoms came full
blown 6 years ago after I began meditating. I was nauseas and shakey off
and on. My teeth would chatter all the time and my mind would drift very
far away quite easily. I felt twitching in the muscles of my back and legs
that eventually resulted in full body pain and stiffness making it difficult
for me to walk at times. I was hoping I just had the flu, but I knew in my
heart something very different was going on. Along with these physical
symptoms there were perceptual and emotional changes that were very
disturbing. I felt very tall at times. Like I was very high off the ground
when I looked down. I felt removed from the world like an actor in a play.
There were long crying spells and feelings of dread, horror and the sense
that I was going to die. I would experience strange breathing patterns and
various trance like states. I had no idea what was happening to me. I had
never heard of kundalini.
I had an urge to be cleansed and made useful to the world, but I had no
idea what this meant.

I did not fare well during this intense time. I wasn't able to work or take
care of my child. He was grief stricken at the sudden change in my
behavior. I consulted several professionals which resulted in more
confusion and desperation. I became suicidal and very ill for a long
period. Slowly, after receiving psychiatric help, I was able to work for a
few years until new kundalini symptoms appeared which included seeing colors
and snakes, involuntary body movements (yoga postures and chanting), vivid
symbolic dreams, trance states, a feeling of detachment and perceptual
changes, laughing and crying spells, hot and cold spells and fear. I felt
like I was posessed and may go crazy or simply disinegrate. I wanted to
die. It became difficult again to take care of my daily needs. To my good
fortune, this is when I saw Swami Ganga-Puri Kaliuttamananda-Giri who at
that time went by the name of Ganga Karmokar on the internet. The statement
that she had went through kundalini
and it had now completed immediately drew my attention.

I never in my dreams thought I would have a Guru. It was not something I
was looking for. I just desperately wanted someone to help me understand
what was happening to me. I never expected to be so fortunate as to find a
kundalini master, a Sat Guru, but this has been the best thing.

This may sound extreme to others, but I really feel like I owe my life to
her, dear Swamiji. I have known her for almost two years now and was able
to get back to work two months after meeting her. My son is happy that he
has a stable mother back. Not only has Swamiji answered all my questions
and explained all of the symptoms which has quelled my fears immensely, I
have also had a chance to watch her do the same with all the seekers that
come to her. She is there for each and everyone, answering questions day
and night. I have never felt pressured to be anything but myself. The
energy around her is very calming as if one can just let go and be for the
first time. She has normalized all concerns and fears I have brought to her
and directed them swiftly towards the self. This has helped me begin to
understand what it really feels like to relax. As a result I have
progressed quickly and am relaxed with the changes. Often I have the sense
that I am nothing. Other times that
all is the self. The mind automatically stills at times. I'm continuing
to manifest the kryas and spontaneous chanting. The behavior seems to flow
in to my daily life easily and I rarely dwell on it or worry about it. I
just feel a great connection with Swamiji and never feel intimidated in her
presence or like I owe her something in return. She's a bright light in the
darkness. It's a blessing to be near her.

Love to all on their journey to the self. I would be happy to answer any
questions. Swamiji has my e-mail address.

Love and Blessings Sat*Chit*Anand shanti-shanti-shanti Om

swamiji@kundalinisupport.com